Category: one liner

I posted a joke today, cost me 60p.

I saw a transparent billboard today “That’s a clear sign” I thought to myself.

I just quit my job at the tiddlywink factory…it was counter-productive.

Pyromamiacs of the world, ignite.

People with time machines need to stop living in the past.

Swallowed a couple of Es at University. Apparently that makes me a ‘bad loser’ at Scrabble.

Just been on google and searched ‘free heroin.’ Got a few hits.

I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability.

3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.

Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.

Duck pluckers get me down.

I have invented a door made entirely from seeds that opens by voice command. “Open Sesame”

here’s a tip for you.. said the masturbating leper 🙂

My hatred for my wife is like a horse’s foreskin… It goes back a long way.

I read a joke about window shopping the other day. I didnt get it.