Category: one liner

I’m an armoured personnel carrier and I’m APC.

I might kill myself in the most horrific way, just to have my 500 jokes of fame on Sickipedia!

Recent evidence shows that Princess Dianas’ driver was on drugs at the time of the crash. Speed and Smack.

Sky News: It’s still blue with white clouds.

The metropolitan police have received information that 1 in 3 bottles of heinz ketchup may be poisonous. They say the sauce is unreliable.

Every dubstep musician used to be that kid who could burp the alphabet, they all just somehow managed to make a career out of it.

I’m disappointed that Graeme Garden didn’t get a knighthood in the NY honours list, really want his wife to become “Lady Garden”.

you know you’re a good lip reader when you watch harry potter muted and know what Snape says.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam!”

I am in no shape to exercise.

My wife left me because of my obsession with helium balloons.. I let her go.

My mate was trying to convince me he had x-ray vision.. I saw straight through him

Winnebago, making family sized cars to fit American’s for over 50yrs.

You know you’re getting older when….”happy hour”…… is a nap.

Inflatable wigs, so you can really let your hair down.