Category: mythical

How was your apocalypse ? Mine was great, until I realized the zombies I was killing weren’t zombies… But that didn’t stop me!

I was watching Twilight the other day and I’d have to say my favourite scene by far was about 21 minutes and 38 seconds in, when my electricity ran out.

Vegetarian Zombies; They want your grains.

Vampires suck

If vampires can’t see their reflections, how come their hair is always so neat?

What’s long, makes women wet and makes men disgusted if someone gets it out? A Twilight DVD

If you ask me, it’s about time for Vampire Killer to become a profession again.

Turns out that smashing a stake through a vampire’s heart works, even if your wife’s not a vampire.

A busload of zombies were just involved in a minor collision. They are all feared dead.

“It’s time to stand up and be counted.” I said to a lazy Dracula at his initiation ceremony.

My wife said, “Imagine we’re sat here now, and flesh eating zombies started smashing their way into the house… What would you do?” I said, “Hide behind you… …you big fat tasty looking lump.”

When I get to the age where I can’t walk properly I’m going to dress up like a zombie… and follow somebody.

So, I’ve been searching for the Yeti for 3 weeks now. I did originally set out to find cheap petrol, but I went for a more achievable goal.

If you’re a vampire a used Elastoplast makes an ideal ‘Blood Patch’ if you’re trying to give it up.

Zombies – The only people who hate fast food.