Category: mythical

My workmates accused me of being delusional. So I downed my pint of unicorn tears and flew away on my Pegasus.

Really Professor, Do you really believe there are such creatures as vampires? “Herr Doctor, there are many things in this world that we simply cannot comprehend So these small puncture marks on her neck are from the fangs of this devilish fiend?! Im afraid so, draining the very life out of her in the process […]

I had to see Twilight last night, just to satisfy what all the fuss was about. Talk about far fetched or what … Vegetarians being strong and not one of them has an irritable bowel.

Dear Children When you look under your bed, what exactly is it you are planning to do when you find me. Sincerely The Bogeyman

I was a vampire when I was a child. Those were the nights.

What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? “How did you make porridge without opposable thumbs?”

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? “See you next month!”

I’ve been thinking about it and, at the end of the day, it’s not so bad being a vampire.

This Hallowe’en I’m saving money on zombie DVD’s. I live in Stoke, it’s chucking out time and I’ve just opened the curtains

If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I’m just going to surround my house with outward facing treadmills. I should be fine.

I found myself turning into a vampire last night. My car hit Hilary Devey on a street corner.

I was thinking of putting fangs on my canine teeth to make me look more like a vampire and have the many girls who read the Twilight series chasing after me. But I think perhaps with my weight problem, I’d look more like a baby walrus.

I rubbed a magic lamp and wished for the genie to not wear any underwear. He said, “Your wish is me Commando?”

When it comes to chat up lines, vampires don’t have much luck. “Have you got a mirror in your knickers love? because I can’t see myself in there tonight.”

Imagine a female werewolf, once a month she’d turn into a vicious man-eating monster in a blind rage. And then another time in the month she’d turn into a wolf.