Category: money

I went to see my bank manager and he said that I am going to have to pay interest. I tried, but it was so boring.

Right then mr obama, I want my $25 million reward. Whats that, you dont recall the conversation we had? I distinctly remember telling you the where abouts of bin laden. Oh the evidence?? I disposed of it in the sea.

My mate asked, “What would you do if you had Richard Branson’s money?” I said, “Probably spend it before he noticed it was missing.”

Protesters at NATO summit want to eliminate currency. Greek government takes their advice.

I have the perfect solution to solve all your debt problems in one go. Money.

Saw a book today at a car boot sale called “I Can Make You Rich” Works then?

TODAY’S STOCK MARKETS: Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationery. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were […]

Why did Americans invent drive-in banks? So that cars could occasionally be seen by their owners.

The bank sent a bailiff round after I missed a couple of repayments, so I hung an electrical plug out of a drawer, then filmed him going through my daughter’s knickers. Put it this way, that loan doesn’t need paying any more…

Money has become such a problem for us that the wife has to go out on the game just to earn a few extra quid. I’ll tell her later.

“Strapped for cash? Sell your pregnancy and baby items!” These internet adverts sure do have a way of raising a man’s hopes, to bitterly disappoint.

I walked into the bank and said to the cashier, “I’d like to open a joint account please.” “OK, with whom though?” “Whoever has a lot of money.”

Money is a lot like women. If you own a lot of it, you can get into all kind of positions.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can Buy marshmellows which is pretty much The same thing.

I love doing business with eskimos. They always pay in cold hard cash.