Category: money

My wife divorced me, and took away millions of my money in the divorce settlement. Thank god I live in Zimbabwe.

My wife left me saying that I’m a money waster. I said “Don’t be stupid, we got a 97% love match on Jamster’s app.”

My wife accused me of wasting money the other day, i almost dropped my iPhone 4G, iPhone 3Gs and iPad at the same time!

I once asked a scouser how much money he had. ‘More than I can count’, he replied. In other words, about 100 quid.

My wife is currently going through the change. She’s got about 4 quid so far.

They say money is the root of all evil, which is why I’m doing my bit for Africa by not sending any. They’ve got enough problems as it is.

Travis McCoy: ”I wanna be a billionaire, so so bad…” No problem mate. Just grab a tenner and book a seat on the next flight to Zimbabwe and you’re sorted..

“Money can not buy you happiness”. But it can buy you a yacht to suffer in.

Imagine how much money you would save if you were the sample photo guy in picture frames!

It’s surprising how far a fiver goes these days. I walked all around Waitrose and still came out with it in my hand.

I work on the end of the production line at the U.S. Bureau of printing and engraving. The buck stops with me.

Why do Jews make great athletes? They instinctively go for the gold.

Money can’t buy you happiness but it can buy you jet skis, and when did you ever see an unhappy jet skier?

It’s ironic how we show our hatred towards Germany… …by working our whole life towards collecting pieces of paper with a German lady’s picture on it.

Bankers never die… They just lose interest.