Just when I thought turni …
Just when I thought turning off my wife’s life support was the hardest thing ever, a new Angry Birds update comes out.
Continue ReadingJust when I thought turning off my wife’s life support was the hardest thing ever, a new Angry Birds update comes out.
Continue ReadingLighten the mood if you are ever in a car crash by replacing your air-bags with confetti today.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s leaving me because apparently “I just don’t get it”. Take yesterday for example. She told me I would soon be hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet. I was so excited I went straight out and bought a new suit. Well, it’s not everyday Ronnie Corbett comes round for dinner is it?
Continue ReadingTerry pratchet said thy writing is the most fun you can have with your hands on your own. And he clearly still lives with his mum.
Continue ReadingThe wife is away for the evening so it’s time for me to dig out my ‘special’ DVD collection. Die Hard and Crocodile Dundee.
Continue ReadingThe BBC are bringing out a new version of Dad’s Army which will include a local gypsy traveller family. Cant wait to see Captain Mainwaring say those immortal words “Dont tell him your name Pikey”.
Continue ReadingMy mate said, “We still haven’t decided on a name for the baby yet. These things shouldn’t be rushed.” I said, “I can certainly understand why you don’t want to rush this ‘Englebert’.”
Continue ReadingThe state of our roads is getting worse and dangerous. Saw this black man crossing the road who tripped and fell because of a pothole. Poor sod then got hit by a truck. Still, on the upside, pothole filled and tarmac like new.
Continue ReadingThere was never supposed to be a lowercase i in front of the Pod, but Apple couldn’t figure out how to stop autocorrect putting it there.
Continue ReadingThinking of starting up a new screamo band. Going to make it 100% screaming and shouting with no instruments. I think I’ll call us; Marriage
Continue ReadingI never trust people who smoke… I’m worried they’ll lead me ashtray.
Continue ReadingI was in the pub late last night, when I said to my mate “I can see it being very frosty in the morning.” “How can you tell that?” he asked. “Simple really” I replied. “I told my wife I would be home hours ago.”
Continue ReadingCan we pretend that the first 3 words of this joke didn’t remind you of a overplayed song?
Continue ReadingPotatoes wrapped in tin-foil and kept in a cupboard become a welcome consolation if your house burns down.
Continue ReadingFool people into thinking you’re attractive and interesting by setting up your own Facebook page.
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