Category: modern life

What do you call a 14 year old chav girl who isn’t a mother yet? Pregnant…

We live in strange times. Kids run wild and dogs go to obedience school…

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach his wife to fish and he can spend several hours on the sofa watching Sky Sports.

Why won’t Scousers buy The Sun tomorrow? They can’t afford it.

I went to the cemetry to look for my name on tombstones. It’s the Goth version of Googling yourself.

Decided to have botox on xmas eve.. that way no one will know how much I hate the presents they’ve bought me

My girlfriend said I don’t pay her enough attention. It’s not my fault she’s wears clothes around the house.

Dear Ireland, I realise that we haven’t been the best of neighbours over the years but did we really deserve ‘Jedward’?! If you take them back and brick them up in an old house, i’ll personally look into returning the northern bit of your country too you…… Cheers!

This new phone tariff is a bit steep, every time I plug the phone in it tells me it’s charging.

It’s all well and good people praising Gareth Bale, but has every one forgotten that his mum puts cats in bins?

Cash Converters: The modern day Robin Hood.

I bought a new toy for my son yesterday. It’s a kind of puzzle that has apparently been designed by psychologists to prepare children for the harsh reality of modern life. No matter how you put it together, it’s wrong.

” wish I could grow some pubic hair, so freaking bad!” Justin Biebers remix of Travis Mcoys recent hit single…

Kindle. For those times when turning a thin piece of paper is just asking too much.

The human hip, used for finding the exact location of the corner of a table.