Whenever I see a girl put …
Whenever I see a girl put her newly bought lottery ticket down her bra for safe keeping, I feel the urge to go for a lucky dip.
Continue ReadingWhenever I see a girl put her newly bought lottery ticket down her bra for safe keeping, I feel the urge to go for a lucky dip.
Continue ReadingI couldn’t be happier after the draw this evening. Got 4 numbers on the thunderball.
Continue Reading“Greece Wins 96bn Economic Bailout ” Really? I thought that big rollover jackpot was won by two fat people!
Continue ReadingFor the first time in ten years I didn’t manage to make it to the newsagent to put my lottery numbers on yesterday, and would you believe it… saved myself a quid.
Continue ReadingIf they’re phasing out cheques by 2018,will lottery winners be presented with a bag of money or a giant maestro card when they are revealed to the public?
Continue ReadingMy missus said to me “I’ve won a tenner on the lottery, look! 04, 03 and 10!” I replied “That’s the date love…”
Continue ReadingThe Euromillions winner has not come forward yet. No surprise there; I’d still be telling my boss what I think of him.
Continue ReadingThe first thing I’d if I won the lottery? Finally be able to fill the car up.
Continue ReadingI feel sorry for the one Nigerian man who actually has $27 million to give to me.
Continue ReadingMy Nigerian friend has recieved an email saying that hes won 165m in the English Lottery.
Continue ReadingThe other day, I realized that I don’t do any extreme sports. So I decided to run through Liverpool with a lottery ticket shouting “I’ve won! I’ve won!”
Continue ReadingMy mate asked, “What would you buy yourself if you won the lottery?” “Acting lessons probably.” “Act..Why?” “I’d like to be convincing when anybody asks me if I have any money.”
Continue ReadingIf we won the lottery tonight, it wouldn’t change my wife one bit. Because I wouldn’t tell her.
Continue ReadingI’m retiring early. I’ve opened a pie shop next door to the new Euro Millions Lottery winners.
Continue ReadingThanks to the Euromillions; the only reason we’ll see ‘Euro Success’ and ‘Liverpool’ in the same sentence.
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