Category: lottery

If it had been me that had won the 161 million then I wouldn’t just sponsor a child, I’d buy a whole country. Turns out I only had three numbers but that was enough to buy South Africa and get a Big Mac anyway.

I packed my bags and left my wife and kids last night after discovering I had a winning ticket on the lottery. I soon went crawling back this morning, ten pound doesn’t stretch very far.

To my darling. I was such a fool to leave you. I need you back in my life. I love you. PS Congrats on winning the Lotto.

I found an old coin and took it to a coin expert to examine it. He said ”This could earn you 5,000,000.00!” After catching my breath I gasped ”Really?”‘ He tossed it back to me and said ”Yeah, if you use it to scratch off a winning lottery ticket.’

TheSun: “Lotto winners Chris and Colin are UK’s 430th wealthiest.” I’d say they were struggling to match that rank for the UK’s healthiest though.

What’s better than winning the lottery? Winning it the day after your divorce comes through.

I never got the chance to say goodbye to my wife and children. I won the lottery and jumped straight on a plane to Vegas.

There is a 1 in 2 chance of winning the lottery. You either win it or you don’t.

The couple who won 161 million on EuroMillions say they’ll be buying a ticket in the next lottery. Hats off to the Weirs for nurturing our beliefs about Scottish people.

In Nigeria, how do you know if you’ve really won the lottery?

The worse thing about winning 82million would be trying to get it out of the newsagents into the car.

My mate won a fortune on the lottery – spent the entire lot in a year at the local fish and chip shop, just frittered it away..

So Derren Brown predicted the lottery tonight? Big deal, I’ve predicted which numbers wont come up twice a week for 10 years!

My son asked me if I would buy him a new bike. I said: “Son, if you really want something in life you have to work for it.” Then I told him to be quiet because they were just about to announce the lottery numbers

If I got my money back everytime I played but didn’t win the lottery…. There would still be kids dying in Africa