Category: little johnny

The teacher asked Little Johnny, “Name ten animals from Africa.” He said, “Nine elephants and a giraffe.”

A Concerned mother warns her little boy, “don’t look at naked women or you’ll turn to stone.” Johnny loved his mother, and as such decided not to look at naked women. But one day johhny and his friend were walking along a beach, and saw a woman sunbathing naked. Johnny remembered what his mother said, […]

Teaching an English lesson, the teacher wrote on the board, fully aware of the grammar errors: “I ain’t had no fun in months” “Now, how should I correct this sentence.” “Get a new boyfriend,” said Little Johnny.

When Little Johnny got home from playing football, his mum asked “how was the match?” He replied “The winning goal was thanks to me.” “Terrific!” she said. “Not really,” he sighed. “I let it in.”

Little Johnny came into the bathroom while his mother was taking a shower. He asked, “Mum, what’s that between your legs?” She told him that was her squirrel. Later that day he was in the bathroom again while Gran was taking a shower and he asked, “Gran, what’s that between your legs?” She replied, “That’s […]

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, “Hey, Dad! What are you doing?” His father says, “I’m filling your mother’s tank.” Johnny says, “Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning.”

Teacher asks “If I had seven oranges in one hand and 6 in the other, what would I have” Little Johnny “Big hands”

While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch. “Did you get that for your birthday?” asked Little Johnny. “Nope.” replied Jimmy. “Well, did you get it for Christmas then?”. Again Jimmy says “Nope.” “You didn’t steal it, did you?” asks Little Johnny. “No,” said […]

Little Johnny is sent to the store to buy nuts by his mum. On his way, he comes across a circus, the main attraction of which was a life-sized robot of King Kong. Little Johnny, obviously, forgets all about the errand and heads into the circus. He sees the robot, and immediately rushes back home […]

On the first day of term teacher was doing registration. Half way through little Jonny walks in. “Sorry I’m late miss, I’ve been up Primrose Hill” She carries on with registration when little Jimmy walks in. “Sorry I’m late miss, I’ve been up Primrose Hill” She carries on with registration when a new girl walks […]

The teacher asked Little Johnny to spell “straight”. Little Johnny did so without any errors. “Well done and what is the meaning of ‘straight’?” said the teacher. Little Johnny quickly replied, “Without water in it.”

No more little Johnny jokes. He grew up and died a long time ago.

Fred and Mary got married, but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred’s parent’s home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred’s little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and […]

A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed. “Tommy,” she said, “I’m not eating any more chicken sandwiches.” “Why?” he asked. “‘Cause I’m starting to grow feathers down here,” she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy. “I don’t believe you,” he said. “You’ll have to show me.” […]

Teacher: “Johnny, why have you not given me your homework?” Little Johnny: “I made it into a paper aeroplane and someone hijacked it.”