Category: little johnny

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?” “No,” said his Mom, “of course not.”Little Johnny then ran back outside and his Mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay, we can play that game again!”

Little Johnny is at the zoo with his dad and seems to be having a great time, but when they get to the lion’s cage, his face turns pale and he looks terrified. “What’s up, Johnny?” “I was just wondering, Dad,” says Johnny. “If the lion escapes from its cage and eats you … what […]

Little Johnny asks his mum, “Can I cross the road when the red man is on?” “Of course you can, Johnny,” says his mum, “but you have to hold your hands up in the air.” “Why’s that?” says Johnny. “It’s easier for them to get your pullover off when you’re in hospital.”

Little Johnny goes over to little Billy’s house and rings the bell. His mother answers and Johnny asks if Billy can come and play war in the street with his friends. Billy’s mother says to Johnny, “You know Billy doesn’t have any arms or legs.” Johnny replies, “I know, but we want to use him […]

Little Johnny comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks, “What did you learn today?” He replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

Any-one else think you’re just pushing your luck if you name your child “Little Johnny”?

Little Johnny was asked by his teacher what book he would read if he was abandoned on a deserted island. He thought for a moment and then replied, “Boat Building.”

Little Johnny is in school and it is near christmas time so the kids are giving presents to the teacher. Little Ross stands up to give his present. The teacher knows his parents are choclatiers. She takes the wrapped present and says, “This is a box of chocolates isn’t it?”. Ross says, “Yes miss how […]

Little Johnny boasted he could make any woman wet just by wiggling his index finger at her! “prove it” I said So he pulled out his water pistol…

Who on earth are all these people calling their children ‘little johnny’!?

Little Johnny’s mother taught him to say ‘whisper’ whenever he had to ‘tinkle.’ One day Little Johnny’s grandpa paid them a visit. He was lying on the couch taking a nap when Little Johnny came up to him and said, “Grandpa, I have to whisper.” Without opening his eyes, his grandpa said, “Whisper in my […]

Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mum’s room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, “Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!” The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and […]

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Little Johnny looked […]

Little Johnny is staying with Grandma and Grandpa for the weekend. When his mum comes to pick him up, she asks him how it was. “Boring!” says Johnny “Why?” “Gran and Grandad sat around on the sofa with nothing on!” “Whaaaat?” “Yeah, nothing on… no telly, no computer, no stereo, no radio…”

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers yet. “Yes, teacher,” he said, “my dad taught me.” “Good, Johnny. Tell me what comes after two,” the teacher said. “Three,” replied little Johnny. “Very good. What comes after five, Johnny?” asked the teacher. “Six,” answered little Johnny. “Excellent. Your dad did a very good […]