Category: little johnny

Little Johnny turns to his mum an says: “When you found out you were pregnant what did you want me to be?” “Stillborn”

My teacher said, “If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier.” I said, “I don’t know about that Miss. Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder.”

Little Johnny was in his maths lesson one day when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention. “If I gave you 20,” she began, “and you gave 5 to Mary, 5 to Sally and 5 to Susan, what would you have?” Johnny thought about this and then answered, “An […]

One day, Little Johnny asks his mother “Why are some of your hairs white?” She replies “Every time you do something that upsets me, one of my strands of hair goes white.” He nods, then asks “Grandma is your mother, isn’t she?” “That’s right.” He thinks for a moment, then asks “So how come ALL […]

Teacher asks little Johnny, “What is the chemical formula for water?” Little Johnny replies, “H I J K L M N O.” “What are you talking about?”, the teacher replied. Little Johnny, “Yesterday you said it’s H to O.”

TEACHER: Why are you late? JOHNNY: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? JOHNNY: The one that says, “School Ahead, Slow down

little johnny returns home from school and says “mum, i got a question right today” the mum says “wonderful, what was the question?” little johnny replies “who’s farted”

Little Johnny comes home with wet hair. “Why is your hair wet, Johnny?” asks his mother “Me and Bobby were playing doggy,” says Johnny. “That doesn’t make your hair wet.” “It does when it’s your turn to be the lamp post.”

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘ Johnny: I is.. Teacher: No, that’s not correct Johnny. You should always say, ‘I am.’ Johnny: Okay, ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

One day little Johnny goes up to his mother and says, “Is it true babies come from storks?” “Why yes,” says the mom. “Do storks ever have abortions?” he asks. Johnny’s mother stops and laughs and then says, “Yes, but only the poor black ones.”

Little Johnny woke up in the middle of the night and cried until his mother came in to see what was the matter. “I have to make pee pee”, wailed Little Johnny. “All right,” said his mother, “I’ll take you to the bathroom.” “No” insisted Little Johnny, “I want Grandma.” “Don’t be silly, I can […]

Little Johnny climbs the ladder up to the attic for the first time. When he puts the light on, he sees the playpen he was placed in when he was a toddler. Excited, he rushes downstairs to the kitchen: “Mummy! We’re getting a new baby!” “What on earth makes you think that, Johnny?” says his […]

“You should never kiss animals,” warns the teacher. “Does anyone know why that is?” “Because of the nasty diseases!” says Little Johnny. “My Gran always used to kiss her parrot and now it’s dead.”

Little Johnny comes to school with a bruised cheek. “Why is your right cheek so red?” asks the teacher. “Because daddy’s left-handed.”

Little Johnny’s father glared at the school report and asked “Why did you fail maths?” “On Monday, the teacher said six fours make twenty-four. Then on Tuesday, she said twelve twos make twenty-four. And on Wednesday, she said three eights make twenty-four.” “Right,” said his father. “So?” “If she can’t make up her mind, how […]