Category: library

I went for a CAT scan earlier. I’m now being prosecuted by the RSPCA and banned from the library for the misuse of their photocopier.

I walked into a library earlier and asked for a book on interrogation… The librarian replies, ‘Yes, but why would you want that?’

A man went to a library and asked if there were any books on marriage. The librarian replies, “Yeah, it’s just up the aisle.”

A midget waddles into the library and asks, “Have you got a book on Irony?” The librarian says, “Yeah, mate, it’s on the top shelf.”

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on declining standards in modern day Britain. From behind his Daily Sport, the librarian mumbles “Get it yourself.”

A man walks into a Library and says: ‘Excuse me……’ To which the Librarian answers, ‘A book on mind reading and telling the future? I can recommend this one here.’

A man goes into a library and asks if they have any books on pessimism. The librarian says; “I doubt it.”

I went to a Library today and asked for a book about Funk Music that was on a high shelf but then decided I didn’t really want it. The librarian had to step right on up, brought it right on down but had to take it right on back up to the top.

Man walks into a library and says “Hi im looking for a book on how to stop people interu…” Librarian “Its over there”

A man walks into a Library and after a few minutes says to the Librarian he can’t find any books on Palestine. The Librarian replies, ” That shelf is currently occupied”

Gerry and Kate McCann walk into a library – not like them to bring something back…