Category: library

An Italian walked over a library.

A German student walks into a library. Everyone takes cover.

A man walks into a library and says, “Have you got the book, ‘How To Suck Yourself Off’?” The librarian says, “It’s over there; the one with the broken spine.”

A man walks into a library and asks the computer self service machine for a book on human interaction.

A man walks into a library and asks if they have a book on Mafia hit men. The librarian says, “We do. Would you like to take it out?”

Terry Pratchett walks into a library and says ” two for the circle and a pound of nuttalls mintoes please” The librarian says “OOK”

My work as a bookkeeper is becoming more difficult. Every library in the area has a photo of me.

A man goes in to a library and asks for a book on slavery. The librarian says, “Ok, I really hope you bring it back!”

A man walks into a library and asks for a book about wrestling. The librarian says “I’m very sorry sir but someone has that on hold”

Rob Green walks into a Library and asks for a book on goalkeeping. The Librarian says, “Ooh, now I was holding that a second ago.”

A man crossed the road towards a library but luckily got run over by a bandwagon.

A man comes home to find his blonde wife holding a gun to her head. The man screams “Honey, don’t do it, I love you” The woman says “Shut up or you’re next!”

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on pessimism. The librarian says; “Certainly, sir. There’s a shelf over there, half full of them.” “It looks half empty to me,” he replied.

A Polish man walks into a library and asks … for a job.

The British Library acquires 3 million new books each year, but they like to keep it quiet.