Category: joke

ELECTRIC HEATERS Because sometimes you want your room to be warm and smell of burning dust

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two…

The author of the Windows file copy dialogue visits some friends: I’m just outside town, so I should be there in fifteen minutes. Actually it’s looking more like 6 days. No, wait, thirty seconds.

I’m going to get the numbers 1-100 tattooed across my body. That way, you can always count on me.

I left my wife because she complained that I do stuff without thinking it through.

My Spidey senses are tingling. No wait; that’s my mobile on vibrate.

The Met Office is predicting that next summer will be hotter and drier than average. Unfortunately, they are also predicting that next summer will be in 2019.

Of my two ex-wives, the one I hate the most was the one who left me for another women. I think of her as the lezza of two evils.

Muslim comedians make me explode with laughter.

I have just killed my pregnant wife and tomorrow I’m going to cut our dead baby out of her womb. Then I’m going to wait for my girlfriend to fall asleep and place the dead baby between her legs. I can’t wait, this is going to be the best April fools ever!

“thatcher taken to hospital” Let’s hope it’s just a miner problem

Tip of the day. Two pieces of penne pasta stuck together make ideal binoculars for your pet Hamster.

There is no such thing as automatic doors. Just gentleman ninjas.

Why did the meta-joke cross the road? To get to the punchline.

Like most people on this site….. I can’t come up with my own jokes.