Category: joke

old macdonald had no lips mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, “Wait till it gets warmer”

I’ve just invented the cold air balloon. I don’t think it’s going to take off.

Well, I know I won’t be able to watch Comic Relief tonight without picking up the phone. Watching all those starving kids with their distended bellies always makes me think the same thing… “I’m a bit peckish myself… I think I’ll order a pizza.”

They say time is the best healer… Try saying that to a chronophobic

My illiterate friend made a joke today. “Brilliant!” I exclaimed. “You can’t write that stuff!”

I was arrested after smearing somebody’s luggage with Vaseline. The police dropped the case.

The Met Office is taking its own advice by planning ahead for extreme weather. It has issued a severe weather warning for the UK running from April to September next year.

So what would “The Pretenders” tribute band be called ?

I Thought I’d get a nice framed picture of the twins for my wife’s birthday. Turns out she doesn’t share my admiration for the Kray’s.

So this morning I went to my allotment to check on my vegetables and what not, when I realised half of the soil was missing, I was utterly shocked, so I went home and checked back later only to find even more has gone missing. I think I’m losing the plot.

I brush after every meal, and my dentist says my hair looks lovely.

Some people have to post Sickipedia jokes on facebook to make people think they are funny. When they are not. They are just fat.

My wife just asked me to take the rubbish out. So I kicked my wheelie bin over.

Like most other Sickipedians I’m using the newest popular joke template