Category: joke

My mate looks like Patrick Swayze when he dances on a night out Rotten

I was away on business with a female colleague and we ended up doing something stupid and irresponsible that we deeply regretted in the morning. We both had drinks and a snack from the mini-bar.

What’s Madeleine McCann’s favourite Television show? Lost

What do you call a woman who likes to go out when its windy? Gail.

I’ve heard the Swiss are making a hat that has all the functions of their pocket knives. They’re calling it the ‘Handycap’

Apple has a new device out for Chinese people. The iOpener

Can you even spell condescending ?

Set up: (Insert comment about something you did with your girlfriend here.) Punchline: (Allude to your girlfriend being under 16 here.) or: (Allude to your girlfriend being Madeline McCann here.) Repeat.

Lescott is to be the driving force in the England defence. I’m not surprised with half a dashboard in his head.

Intelligence agencies have learnt of a possible attack on the tiddlywinks world championships………. Counter terrorist police have been put on stand by.

They say laughter is the best medicine. They also say, laughter is contagious. I’m confused.

I was super gluing my model airplane together when i got a blob of the glue on the palm of my hand,i then put my hand down onto a copy of my memoirs………… That’s my story and i’m sticking to it.

I watched as the Paramedic carried the box marked “Human Organ” into the ward, and I felt elated. Suddenly, he tripped and the box went flying. My heart dropped.

Speaking to the wife last night I said “Honey, I’ve got some really good news, honestly you’ll love it… And some bad news…” “Erm… Okay. The good news first” She replied. “Well, the good news is that we have just received one hundred thousand pounds” I said. “What?! Wow! Oh my god. What’s the bad […]

What do you call a depressed Inuit? An Eskimo.