Category: joke

As my wife pulled up and saw the ‘Police Line do not cross’ tape, she immediately burst into tears Best 1.50 I’ve spent.

Just been watching Cash in the Attic. My wife hate’s my country music DVD’s, so it’s the only place I can watch him in peace.

I am still searching for the answer in life we have all desired since childhood, but does anyone actually know. How much was that doggy in the Window?

Remember: Statistically… 9 out of 10 people will testify that there was consent. Strength in numbers boys, strength in numbers.

A young boy and his dadwent outfishing one finemorning. Aftera few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked “How do fish breathe under water?” His dadthought about itfor a moment, then replied, “I really don’tknow, son.” The boy sat […]

I like to tape tin foil to the base of my grandad’s metal detector using black tape. It’s hilarious!

My missus keeps going on about this LCD solar calculator she’s had since her school days, she can’t believe it still works perfectly after all these years. I told her to put it where the sun doesn’t shine.

I’ve always believed that the key to a good joke is subverting the expectations established in the feedline. To get to the other side.

“Hi my name’s Jim and I’m an alcoholic.” “Thanks for sharing that with us Jim. Although I think I preferred it when i just knew you as plain old Mr Duncan.” I turned to the aenethetist, “Is it too late to request a different neurosurgeon?”

Facebook is like a refrigerator. You get bored and keep on checking it but nothing ever changes.

I got some blinds for my Living room window yesterday. People must be walking past my house thinking, “Them disabled people have just stood there all day”.

What do you call a spastic in a pile of leaves? Russell.

“Knock Knock” “Who’s there?” “We’re here to spread the word of…” “No.”

Suffered third degree burns at work today. Saw some flames in the corridor so i opened up the fire exit. How was I to know fire exit wasn’t a literal meaning.

Just sold Jimmy’s finest comedy DVD for 50. Thanks webuyanycar.com, and sorry it had to go legal.