Category: joke

Think I’ve got Parkinson’s disease. I keep sending pens to people over 50.

Is it just me or are there other people stuck on this island?

What have my daughter and my garden got in common? Both have a great place for my dog to bury his bone.

I bought one of those wind up radios today. I brought it home, turned it on and it kept telling me that Liverpool would win the Premiership.

People always tell me to stop laughing at my own jokes. Little do they know…

BBC NEWS: Internet racism pair lose appeal. “Two men have lost their appeals against the UK’s first conviction for inciting racial hatred via a foreign website.” Looks like Sickipedia is gonna be two members down.

My wife said she’s had enough of me and my selfish ways. So I thought I’d surprise her by buying her a PS3 and Call of Duty to say sorry.

What do you call the feminine version of the the end of a joke? The washing line.

Among my friends, I’m considered the “joker” of the pack. Which basically means I’m not needed and left out.

Last words: That’s 18 straight wiskeys, is that a new record? Pull the pin an do what? The odds of that happening have to be a million to 1! What Duck? They are definatly safe, birds eat them all the time. What’s that red dot on your forehead? Can’t believe no one has thought of […]

I want my wife to divorce me so I’m going to gradually remove all the flooring in our house until she can’t stand it. My logic is floorless.

Kate McCann says their “Find Maddie” fund is running dry Quite the opposite of Maddie in a way

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours… If it doesn’t, it was never meant to be. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, takes your money, and doesn’t appear to realize that you’ve set it free….. You […]

My grandma turned a 102 today, and she hasn’t got a single grey hair on her head. Becuase she’s bald.

2 yank redneck brothers on opposite sides of a river, one shouts to the other “How do you get across to the other side?” “You are on the other side” comes the reply.