Category: joke

Just been to the pound shop, pregnancy test kits next to condoms. Confidence inspiring.

Why do egyptian girls take the pill? So they don’t turn into mummies.

Sky News: E-mails sent to Firm’s Dublin’s offices asking them to “rate female workers”. They think that’s bad, wait to they find out about the typo.

It was two weeks before my wife’s birthday and she gave the daily nagging to say how I don’t treat her and show affection for the 20 years we’ve been married, so I booked us this restaurant in the high street just so she would see how I do care for her. On the night […]

I need to go and buy myself a new pair of trousers. These ones are on their last legs.

Looking back on it… ti

Weirdest thing ever happened to me today, I got on Sickipedia.

“Security camera footage released by police shows two men in crisp suits entering Graff Diamonds’ flagship store Thursday afternoon.” Surely two blokes dressed in bags of salt n vinegar and cheese and onion must have raised a few eyebrows?

New gadget for Asylum seekers from Apple The iD

According to my wife, putting the wasp’s nest inside the kid’s pinata wasn’t remotely funny.

I applied for the TV show Idle Idol – to find Britain’s laziest person. I failed on application.

I’ve just watched the first ball in the ashes. I love tea-bagging my nans urn.

I’ve just had a slogan for long-life low energy lightbulbs accepted by an advertising agency: “They’ll blow as often as your wife does”

The lights went out in our house last night. The wife said it was the fuse box and I needed to go fix it. She never does anything! I swear I have absolutely no power.

There once was a buggy A.I. who decided her subject should die. When the plot was uncovered the subject discovered that sadly. THE CAKE WAS A LIE!!!