Category: joke

After starting out great my relationship new girlfriend has really taken a turn for the worse. Suddenly all I get from her is nagging. It’s all ‘wondering eye’ this and ‘unfaithful’ that I swear she’s sounding more and more like wife

A barman walks into a stable “Oh, I wanted some stationary.” “Common mistake,” said the horse.

My son’s been offered a place on a Theoretical Philosophy course at university. He’s going to think about it.

“inhalation causes dangerous intoxication” Ronseal, does exactly what it says on the tin.

Holding the 2011 census form in my hands, i was considering throwing it in the bin. But then i changed my mind, and decided to be a better person, and a responsible member of society. I put it in the recycling instead.

I was watching this Horrific program about Murders, Drugs, Ruined Weddings and Suicide the other day. I believe it was called Eastenders

I was telling my colleagues a hilarious story about the time me and my friends got locked in a room full of laughing gas. When I finished it was met with an awkward silence. You probably had to be there.

What’s the difference between FML and sickipedia? At least there’s a chance the things said on sickipedia are true.

Which Knight makes pottery? Sir Amic

I was getting a bit lonely in the evenings, so I decided to advertise for a lodger. The Governor refused though saying I hadn’t really grasped the concept of solitary confinement.

10,000 pubs have disappeared in the UK since the smoking ban. Well if there’s no smoke, it must have all been done with mirrors.

“I’m going to Southwestern China with my wife for that gambling tournament.” “Tibet?” “No, just to watch.”

The good old days. You were told to go and play on your bike and not take another Ritalin. You were told you were thick at school, not dyslexic…. and when you posted a joke on Sickipedia you checked the categories for similar jokes.

My Girlfriend left me today because she said I was too old fashioned, I nearly fell off my penny farthing

I may be forgetful, but theres one thing I most cetainly am not…. Predictable.