Category: joke

It says ‘recyclable items only’ on our wheelie bin,so i put our kids new bike in it.

I got a blowup doll so i can ride in the car pull lane… the fact that one thing might have lead to another is nether here nor there

I don’t mean to be big headed but I was great in bed last night. I slept for 18 hours.

My cocaine empire is struggling in these hard times, it’s all gone to pot.

Question: Before the invention of the airplane, how did they used to feed babies?

As my mother in law sat beside my wife’s hospital bed, she sobbed at the high pitched, continuous tone which filled the room. You should have seen her face when Michael Winslow appeared from the cupboard!

Reports say school lunches are a threat to national security because the fat content in school food is making kids unfit to serve in the military. It does not help that most lunch ladies look like they live in caves in Afghanistan.

I was telling a funny gag in the the garden today, but the punchline was greeted with silence. Later on, my brother told the same one in the lounge, and the room erupted with laughter. I think it was an inside joke.

A good joke is created from the genius of a male and the inspiration from a female.

My mate asked me to look after his detective agency while he goes abroad on a surveillance mission. I told him to mind his own business.

My wifes been a mime for about a year now and I’m leaving her. I’ve had enough of her charades.

Facebook is down… Now how else am i ment to publish sickipedian’s jokes, and take all credit for them.

My wife left me because I “never stand up for myself…” …fair enough.

Me and the wife had another fall out today. I think it’s time to finish the car and put the doors on.

As I jumped up on my chosen mount, one of the spectators laughed and shouted, “You won’t get far on that lad!” I decided he was right. So I got down and chose a different lad.