Category: joke

A man walks into a pole. “Patrz gdzie idziesz, ty pieprzony idiota”

What do you get when you cross Michael Schumacher and Stephen Hawking? Scalextric.

I’m hoping to find a cure for my hiccups. But I’m not holding my breath.

“Do you reckon you could sneak in to the Batman premier through the emergency exit” “I’m not sure but it’s definitely worth a shot”

Your Mum’s So Small, She Has To Slam Dunk Her Bus Fare!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who’s there? The Chicken.

How come there are even more duplicates than ever? “Your joke is probably original”. Yeah right, and my six year old daughter is probably still a virgin.

My teacher called me a quitter today. I nearly dropped my English lessons.

A man has been driving all night and he is exhausted, so he pulls in to a park to get a sleep in his car. He is just ready to get to sleep when his window gets knocked and a jogger is standing and asks the time to which the man replies “it’s 7 o’clock”. […]

What do you call a cat in a chemist? Puss in boots.

The girlfriend asked me ” how many women have you slept with”? I said ” I won’t give you the number but I can count them all on one hand.” “Brilliant” she said. And under my breath I counted 5,10,15,20…….

“Hey, do you want to hear a funny joke about cloakroom attendants?” “No!” “I’ll get your coat..”

When i asked my American friend about his new trousers,he said “they’re pants” i said “well why did you buy them?”

Last night my entire Microsoft Office crashed! I can’t put into Word how angry I am….!

A donkey walks into a bar. “Where’s the horse?” asks the barman. “Recession,” says the donkey.