Category: joke

I’ve started sewing small magnets into my wife’s clothes. Now I don’t have to lie when she asks if she’s attractive.

My girlfriend called over to help me build my medieval figure set. She really made my knight

I like my tea nice and strong. Not for any other reason than I find it highly amusing asking for a double bagger at work.

Was just watching BBC news. Saw that an increasing number of Indian villagers are being eaten by Bengal tigers. I feel that this is such an important issue that I’ve quit my job and I’m going out to help. Not sure how to get 2 tons of catnip necklaces through custom though.

I’m a Sickipedian and duplicating Windows 7 jokes was someone else’s idea

I Purchased a Microwave Bed today.. I can now have 8 Hours Sleep in 7 Seconds,

“Child migrant detention attacked” Clearly the dog ate his homework.

Some of my mates have accused my of being insensitive. I can’t really blame them, some of my jokes at work go down like a building full of screaming Americans on 9/11.

I was on the bus today when a young mother asked me “Do you mind if I breast feed?” I said “No that’s fine, but don’t suck my nipple too hard”

Once upon a time, there was a famous black knight on a black horse who desired the hand of a fair princess in marriage. So he rode to the castle where the princess lived to seek the permission of her father, the king, to marry her. “Who goes there?” demanded the castle’s gatekeeper. “It is […]

LONDON (Reuters Life!) – The world’s oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humour was as popular with the ancients as it is today. It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: “Something which has never occurred since time […]

My girlfriend left me today. She said i’m too much of a pushover. Thought it was a bit harsh. I was born with one leg.

Doctors, tired of licking stamps? Simply attach your stamps to the underside of your tongue stick before the patient says ‘Aah.’

Whats better than falling asleep at the wheel? Waking up in hospital unscathed but being told your wife didn’t survive.

As the smell of the fart permeated the air around me and everyone began to hold their noses, I did what huge numbers of men have done before me. I blamed it on the dog. I thought I’d got away with it until the nurse pointed out that dogs weren’t allowed in the operating theatre.