Category: joke

I’ve just had a telephone interview for a job as an engineer with B.T. The interviewer asked me “have you got any experience with communication systems?” Perhaps I should have stopped and thought before replying “you do know we are on the phone?”

Wife asked for something fast and curvy for her birthday; judging by my black eye a 1400 spin speed washing machine wasn’t what she had in mind, the other blackeye came when i said why don’t you take it for a spin anyway.

What is the point of BBC researchers, if I have to think of questions to ask them?

Recreate the smell of farts by opening a pack of Iceland’s diced chicken.

Owning brown towels is a nightmare, i mean you’re never too sure which part is safe to wipe your face on.

Alan Hansen once famously quoted that you “won’t win anything with kids.” Well, I beg to differ Alan, as my Best Young Goats in Show medal will testify.

What is the difference between the McCann household and an Ann Summers party? At an Ann Summers party, all the toys get played with.

The Weight Watchers website requires you to have cookies disabled.

Kid I knew in school had an extra finger on each hand. He was digitally enhanced.

I should have known better than tell someone my biggest secret whilst attending the Town Cryer’s annual convention.

The Sun; Britain Faces Crisis. I thought, what? Are we running out of faces?

i just found out my this beautiful woman i was going to ask out had previuosly been a man. I mean I’m all up for trying new stuff, but i can’t deal with the fact that she can down a pint faster than me.

Wallace is remembered in Scotland as a patriot and national hero. Most English men prefer Gromit.

Timing. What’s crucial when telling a joke?

Taxi for abdul… Oh wait, he drives one.