Category: joke

I tested two dishwashers, and i have come to the conclusion that the Filipino is better.

How many Yorkshire men does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They dont like change.

A taxi driver who saw Maddie McCann with 4 adults the day after she disappeared demanded an answer as to why no one has followed up his sighting yet. “We’re just coming round your corner now.” Said Portuguese police.

I took a lie detector test. No I didn’t.

I broke the news to my wife this morning that her mum and dad died in a car crash last night, she’s been crying all morning. Personally, I think its the best april fools I’ve ever done

Bloke pulls his car up to the kerb, opens the door and says to the young lad walking home alone, “Hey kid, if I give you a 1 will you come in my car?” Kid says “You could give me a Tenner, still won’t get in the Skoda, Dad!”

My mate reckons it’s possible to kill your wife with a blender. I might give it a whirl.

You know, I’m usually on Sicki around 2 am and it never crashes, so if we all just go on then – problem solved!

Honestly, people these days are so rude. I got so much abuse the other day for not giving up my seat on the bus for a heavily pregnant woman. I argued my case but it only seemed to make it worse when I explained how much more difficult it was to use my iPad standing […]

A man walks out of a bar. Take that society.

Shame Clacton beach has lost its blue flag. They pulled out a big brown floater Monday Aug 17th. RIP Stella Ankabi.

I was at the doctor’s the other day and he asked me “Have you ever broken any bones?” I replied, “Yes, 213 last time I checked” “By god, man! You should be dead!” “Oh, don’t worry, none of them were mine…”

whats red and sits in the corner? a naughty strawberry

“Come on.. Will you just try it for size?” I asked my wife, “I spent loads on it and I only bought it because I thought you’d look great in it.” She didn’t reply. She just stood there slowly shaking her head and staring at the coffin.

Got sent a text that said “gnikniht” I thought “that’s just backwards thinking”