Category: joke

Have fun taking advantage of good samaritans, yell “Stop, that rapist is trying to get away, don’t let him get on that train” when you see someone running towards a train.

What’s red and white on the outside and grey on the inside? Campbell’s Cream of Elephant soup.

Doctor: What do you see when you look at this? patient: A dead hooker with no arms or legs. Doctor: Interesting, what about this one? patient: A homeless man chopped into pieces. Doctor: Very interesting indeed, and what about this one? patient: Look, don’t you have coroners for this kind of thing?

I’m always getting a hard time. I try to turn a blind eye to people who mock my poor vision. I will not hear another word said about my deafness. And I can’t even begin to tell you how much I wish i wasn’t born mute.

It’s been in the news recently that Steve Jobs has taken time off from his job at Apple to recover from being ill. He’s got iCancer.

My parents had strange views when it came to dogs they said we could get a puppy and if we didn’t like it we can just abandon it, my foster parents however…

Sadly, my practical jokes business has been served with a winding-up order.

You can say what you like about Pacifists.

I wished my friend a Happy Goth Day. He didn’t seem very happy about it

I had some Coco Pops this morning and I think the milk was funny. Well, I’d not heard the joke before.

I’ve just got back from Nuremburg. What a trial that was.

My mate’s recorded a short stand-up set in which he tells a number of jokes about peas. You should check out his podcast.

I keep finding vomit on my doorstep………. I think it’s some kind of sick joke.

I was walking round the fruit and veg stalls at the market when i thought i’d have a kilo of potatoes. the bloke weighed them for me and said, “just over is that ok?”, I nodded. Then i asked for a kilo of oranges, he weighed them and again said “just over is that alright” […]

Big girls don’t cry (8) They comfort eat.