Category: joke

I woke up in the Police station this morning with no memory of the previous night. I really need to stop drinking on duty.

There’s this woman running havoc by stealing people’s body parts. I can’t take my eyes off her.

Ever noticed that all ghosts are White? Yeah, it looks like a good afterlife, doesn’t it.

I was at the fairground with the wife, in the hall of mirrors when she said “This one makes me look fat, ugly and bloated” I didn’t realise they put normal mirrors in there too.

So I was watching TV and this advert about compensation for accidents that weren’t your fault came on. And there was a woman who slipped and broke her back or something who was trying to claim compensation. So I thought to myself, “She can’t possibly claim compensation. Firstly, she is a woman, and secondly, its […]

I have just seen that joke that has managed to reach the homepage and quite frankly, I’m disgusted. Absolutely everything that is added by anybody on this website should always be a joke. Shouldn’t it?

Checked out Wonga.com to see if they have an “Investors in People” logo. They don’t, which I find ironic.

I asked a fat guy “is it easy to get fat” He replied, “piece of cake”.

I went out with one of Sickipedia’s top users last night. I said to him; “Give us your best gag then.” So he wrapped my entire head in gaffa tape!

As my wife sat down in her car I said, “You’ve got a fat tyre”. She said, “Don’t you mean a flat tyre?” I said, “Look down at your belly and tell me that’s flat”.

I bought one of those music games for my PS3 this morning, but the guitar they supplied is tiny. I knew I shouldn’t have got “Beadle’s Rock Band.”

Big fights between Irish and Polish. I guess they’ll be on seperate flights back to Glasgow?

Back in the day, Josef Fritzl was quite a young handsome looking fellow, it was a case of locking up your daughters.

I met this girl named Maybelline once. She said she was born with it.

My overweight daughter insisted on entering a Beauty pageant and in the end came home with a ” Miss Understanding” ribbon and a book on weight loss.