Category: joke

Cairo slum dubbed Garbage City. Obviously never been to Portsmouth

I went to a DIY house improvements convention today and the after party was great. They totally raised the roof.

A mate of mine stays up late every night to ‘watch the stuff they can’t show during the day’. He’s a deaf baseball fan with a gambling problem.

Jonathan has a bag of sweets. There are 13 Red Sweets, 7 Green sweets and 15 Blue sweets. Jonathan takes a sweet at random, notes it down and then returns it to the bag 10 times. What is the probability that: a) Jonathan will select 5 Green sweets? b) Jonathan will select only Blue sweets? […]

I just got kicked out of my local Laser Tag and the police were called. Apparently knifing somebody to save ammo is not allowed.

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish… And you’ve saved yourself a fish.

One day, there was a man who got cursed by a gypsy. The curse was that he could only speak 4 words each year. One day, he had met a beautiful woman whom he wanted to marry, but he had already used up his 4 words. So he spent the next year courting her, buying […]

I’m surrounded by preserved vegetables in jars. It’s like Piccalilli Circus round here.

I find that organised people are just too lazy to look for things.

Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

At work, I always treat new customers like they’re my girlfriend’s knickers… I like to rip them off but they’re not to be sniffed at.

I compared a modern calculus textbook to one my dad had today, and its amazing how little has changed! I couldn’t differentiate between them…

Just seen an online poll asking ‘who is your favourite x-factor contestant ever?’ It’s a two horse race for me,between Leona Lewis and Stacey Solomon.

I’m trying to think of the perfect oxymoron for a joke but i’ve drawn a blank.

It’s important to keep a backup of all your work – in the unlikely event of a server crash, it may be all you’ve got. Luckily, here at Sickipedia we’ve got a dedicated team working 24/7 to duplicate your jokes. Thanks, guys!