Category: joke

While I was captain of the Starship Enterprise, my chief physician was captured by two rock groups from Planet Metal and interrogated. I wasn’t worried. Styx and Stones won’t break my Bones.

Just saw my female friend post this as her statement… How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE……He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him!! I’m sure all of us guys can agree that its a perfectly effective method to accomplish the fitting […]

While I was eating breakfast, I received news that my ex-wife died of cancer. Good mourning.

No Bandwagons No Duplicates Just Offending Americans Calrsberg Don’t Do Jokes…

Next time someone compliments you why not bring the conversation to your level by replying with: “Aww, much like an abused child, I’m touched”

It’s a good job Dr. Seuss didn’t actually have an MD: “Today, we’ll be performing a vivisection of your erection for detection of infection in connection with erection imperfection”.

Darwin: ‘Survival of the fittest’. Also applicable to girlfriends.

Don’t you just hate it when people post observations as jokes.

BBC News – Boat death girl, 11, ‘not seen’ Worst… super-villain… ever!

I love going round to my nan’s to eat crackers. She always puts on a good spread…

Lidl are giving their shoppers a 5 off voucher if they spend 30 or more at their stores. I have to say though, if I was prepared to buy the whole store, I would expect a bit of a discount.

My wife said she wanted to put something special on tonight. I suggested the oven.

A man in a wheelchair was shouting at a man yesterday in the supermarket for no apparent reason. He was being so aggressive towards the man I thought I better intervene. All I said was “Step off.” and I was painted as the bad guy.

I had to do a speech about time wasting. It lasted seven hours.

My neighbours’ kids are missing after being sucked into an inlet pipe at a sewage farm. I can’t imagine what they must be going through.