Category: joke

‘Non-Flammable’ says one thing to me. Challenge.

Thanks to Sickipedia, my wife divorced me. I owe you guys my life.

O R I G I N A L J O K E I guess thats another original joke going down…

They say alcohol kills slowly.. So what? Who’s in a hurry.

You know you’re getting old when halfway through masturbating your screensaver activates.

I got chatting to this girl in the library. We seemed to have quite a lot in common so after about five minutes I decided to go for it. I whispered to her, “Do you fancy going somewhere a bit noisier?”

I’ve just invented an Internet service for tall people and giants. It’s called Wi-Fi-Fo-Fum.

3 guys in Texas own an oil well that catches fire. They call Red Adair, the famous oil well fire fighter, and ask for his help. He quotes them a price of half a million dollars, and says he can’t be there till 3 weeks later. This seems a bit much, so, consulting the Yellow […]

I came here for a joke, not to practice my maths.

I went to the police station to report my mother missing. “When did you last see her?” the officer asked. “Last night,” I replied. “Was she acting strangely?” “Yes… She was singing ‘Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep’.”

I had a good clear out in the attic yesterday. No toilet paper up there though.

I made a breakthrough today.. So I’ve stopped buying cheap toilet roll.

I wish I knew the Morse Code for the letter S…

What do you call a Scottish coat hanger attendant? Angus Mecoatup.

A bear walks into a bar in Alaska. “Give me a … … beer,” he says. “Sure, but why the big pause?” asks the barman. “That’s my mum’s head you’ve got on the wall,” he replies.