Category: joke

SKYNEWS- Toyota are stopping at nothing to get things back in order.

You know what? I miss all the dead baby jokes. I reckon they went before their time.

What is big, white and full of my juice? My fridge.

I can hear this high frequency noise in my head. My brain hertz.

I saw a Policeman at the ATM before, he was there for a while. He never did get a statement though.

Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock’s broken and I’m wide awake, so I’m not sure who won.

All these new Televisions are confusing. When I was young,…… High Definition was smoking weed and reading the dictionary.

I went into a butchers today and said, “Is that a sheep’s head in the window?” He said, “No, it’s a mirror.”

I was in court the other day about divorcing my wife. When the judge asked why i wanted to get a divorce, apparently “I bought a dishwasher” wasn’t good enough.

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Bourne almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Lincolnshire? And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are […]

My wife told me she wanted a greenhouse, It cost a fortune in paint, our house is huge!

I’ve just exposed myself… I sent my expenses claim to the Daily Telegraph.

Anyone know the name of the French inventor of beach footwear? Philippe Phlp

My Girlfriend told me she likes surprises… 2 months later and a prison sentence i’m starting to think she lied….

When my uncle died, I had him rapped in copper wire and buried in a magnetic coffin under a wind turbine. He must be spinning in his grave.