Category: joke

I’m not insecure, am I?

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Librarian walk into a bar. The barman looks at the Librarian and says, “I think you’re in the wrong joke!”

I have trouble telling the difference between Camera’s and Gun’s. Which led to tragic consequence’s at a recent wedding.

A drunk driver is dangerous, everyone knows that. But so is a drunk back seat driver, if he’s persuasive. “Dude make a left!” “Those are trees…” “Trust me.”

A mitochondria walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says “That’ll be ATP please.”

Mon, Tues, Wednes, Thurs, Fri, Satur, Sun. I’m taking the day off.

I’ve started a new business installing fans in toilets. It’s called “Air to the throne”

Everyone always says that I have a dark sense of humour. Bit harsh, I tell fat jokes as well.

“We’re no strangers to love. You know the rules, and so do I” Actually Rick, I don’t. Maybe if you made your song more widely available…

I once got locked up for stabbing a paragraph. It was a lengthy sentence.

Just because people laugh at your jokes doesn’t necessarily mean you’re funny Justin Lee Collins It could be the fact that you’re ugly.

People say I’m a bit of a joke killer. But surely if someone knocks on your door you ask them to come in ?

What do they call a water fight in Somalia ? A “fight over water”……..

It’s Sunday today… Rebecca Black’s prophecy is coming true!

The wife and I have just had a baby, I heard her talking to her friend today in the Lounge. She said,”Last night, he got up at 12am as he wanted some food and then he was up again at 2am because he had wet himself. Next thing you know at 4am he is up […]