Category: joke

When is a door no longer a door? When it’s Jim Morrison.

I’m an optimist. I hope.

Dating Advert: Midget very kind and nice to put it short and sweet.

I saw a sign today that said “Pedestrians look both ways.” I thought, “so what if they do?”

I took the wife out for a drink last night. What a waste of time that was… She could barely keep her eyes open. I told the tart she’d put way too much mascara on.

In just two days time, tomorrow will be yesterday.

My mates all say I’m a bit of a pub scarecrow. I stand in the corner and frighten all the birds.

I heard a genuinely hilarious joke earlier today, I’d post it here but it would look totally out of place..

WHERE IS THE NEAREST LIBRARY TO THE ERSKINE BRIDGE? It may be the only library on earth that hands out the book we have all been looking for.

Adding a joke to Sickipedia is like having a baby.. Everybody can see it until it gets buried.

My nan doesn’t get the knock knock joke at all, Me – “Knock Knock” Nan – “Come in,” So i explained that she has to answer the door, so second time round, Me – “Knock Knock” Nan – “I’m just coming dear, “

When I was younger, my parents didn’t want me to get a tattoo. My mum said, “If you decide to get a tattoo, make sure you get it in a place that doesn’t matter” So I did, in Preston.

My wife came home from work and I said, “Nice day?” She said, “It was pretty weird. People kept giving me funny looks” I said, “Really, how strange? Maybe it’s to do with the mirror I broke this morning?” She said, “You mean … the bad luck?” I said, “No, because you weren’t able to […]

Whats the worst thing about learning a joke on Sickipedia? Not being able to post it on Sickipedia.

My girlfriend gave birth to our beautiful healthy baby boy today. He has my nose, eyes, ears and mouth. I’ve never been so happy. But ofcourse being a fan of Sickipedia I immediately screamed “DUPLICATE!”