Category: joke

Why did the American cross the road? To steal oil from the other side.

Like most sickipedians, I have to refresh approximately 27 times to finally see some jokes.

This really ugly woman goes to see her doctor, severely depressed and suicidal. “Doc, I can’t stand it any more,” she says. “No-one will look at me, touch me or kiss me. Can you help me at all?” she asks. The doctor replies, “Sure, just lie down over there on the couch first. Face down, […]

Paddy: Hey Murphy, do you like Eminem? Murphy: What, the chocolate? Paddy: No, the rapper. Murphy: What’s so good about M&M’s wrapper?

Googled Sickipedia and this is what I found: Database Latency too High.

A lot of people think I make up all my wordplay jokes myself but I actually have a team of comedians, writers and researchers helping me out. Oh yes, I have a punning clan.

what do you call a dwarf stuck in cement? A wee hard man. What do you call a 5 year old girl stuck in cement? My lucky day

What do you call 4 Black Guys crossing Abbey Road? The Dung Beatles.

Some guy knocked at my door this morning and asked me if I’ve ever considered an alternative energy supplier. I said, “No, I’m quite happy with food.”

There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted […]

Posting your first joke on Sickipedia is a bit like losing your virginity. It’s humiliating, short-lived, and you have a feeling of failed suicide.

I’ve just seen a pair of hippies mid-protest, proper Green activist, all about saving the planet they were. I feel they may be taking a little too far though though, when they had to decide who would leave their post to go and fetch some water. They played Rock, Scissors, Recycled paper.

I can levitate birds. No one cares.

Last year for Christmas, I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I thought I’d put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

BBC news: “Man killed by overturned lorry, carrying thousands of swiss watches” Bad times…