Category: irony

My girlfriend left me because I’m “a clueless idiot.” I didn’t even know I had a girlfriend.

Irony.. Its the second anniversary of baby P`s death! The Black eyed peas are at number one.

”Anyone got any jokes about salt?” ”Na”

I don’t understand my local Tattoo parlour’s new promotional sign – ‘Ear Piercing While You Wait’. To be fair, I’d rather just nip off to HMV while they get on with it.

I was looking at an online memorial of one of my old teachers and his wife. One photo had a picture of the happy couple together with the words ‘Our love burns like an eternal flame.’ I had to laugh. They died in a house fire.

There’d be a certain irony if Hugh Hefner died from Myxomatosis.

Blowing his whistle, the Lifeguard sprinted towards me screaming, ‘No running or shouting by the pool!’ I hope the irony isn’t lost on him.

Our local Superdry store has had to close. The mains waterpipe burst.

Prince Charles has complained that modern people are far too materialistic. I wonder which of his palaces he was sat in when he thought that one up.

My girlfriend is still with me because of my obsession with lying.

I was learning to be patient But then I thought, this isn’t worth the wait.

If u call a city Bombay what do u expect?

Optimism. One day it will pay off

My friend who works for Royal Mail’s Customer Service Department said that they receive 1 million letters a year complaining about their poor service. Can you believe that? 3 million people a year complaining!

I was gonna stab that Alanis Morisette, but all I had was 10,000 spoons when all I needed was a knife. isn’t that ironic?