Category: irony

I haven’t said anything ironic in a while… …I’m a bit rusty…

Things haven’t gone too well for me recently and I am always left disappointed, so I’ve decided that from now I’m going to be more pessimistic about life. I’m really looking forward to it.

Ironic really isnt it, all those chances Dwight York got in the box and the one time he produces something special he was in Jordan

Definition of irony: Being beaten to death by a first aid kit.

Oh the irony in calling the only black guy in harry potter Kingsley SHACKLEBOLT…

Nothing worse than when someone starts a sentence with ‘nothing worse than’ but there are clearly worse things than that subject matter in existence

My mate told me he had a deep obsession with feet. I believed him at first, but then I realised he was pulling my leg.

I thought Friday the 13th was meant to be unlucky? Don’t know why. My wife’s just left me.

Apparently I have this way of lighting up a room whenever I walk in to it. I flick a switch.

My wife accused me of being a selfish pig last night over dinner! I nearly choked on her steak.

Imagine a world without speculation.

I officially want written on my Tombstone: “You Should See the Other Guy”

My blonde girlfriend always worries when she goes to bed that she’s going to wake up dead.

I possess a colossal aversion towards individuals who utilise unnecessarily elongated formal lexis since they appear supercilious whereas, in veracity, they are tremendously inferior to the archetypal populace.

BBC News: MoD “overspent” on lightbulbs. Ironically, a very bad idea.