Category: irony

My girlfriend just called me ignorant. I have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about.

Isn’t it ironic that when Christmas is abbreviated to Xmas Christ is replaced by a Cross?

Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it.

Why do people say most accidents are caused by young people. The fact is most young people are caused by accident

Just as I was about to expose myself to the approaching female, I felt a terrible pain in my chest. As I slumped to the floor, a load of past episodes from my life played themselves out in front of my eyes…. I thought, ‘How ironic…. My life flashed before me…before I could flash before […]

Ironic event of the week: Muslim anti-fascist protesters gang up on, and beat one man because of his political views.

Want to have a bit fun? Put a “no U-turn” sign in a dead-end street.

Studies have shown that 1 in every 49.5 people is an amputee

It’s quite ironic that when you get sent to jail in Monopoly, you don’t get to collect any money that’s rightfully yours. But when you’re in a real life jail you get given Christmas presents, Easter eggs & Xbox360’s that’s paid for by the taxpayers.

Americans would get Irony a lot more if it came in a Bucket.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn’t that an ironic time for a bloke to get those odds?

The guy who invented the tv remote died today. They found his body down the back of his sofa.

When I was at school I belonged to a gang called The Secret Seven and we were sworn to secrecy. We were so good that I never found out who the other six were.

Please, Please donate anything you can to Sports Relief and make these children’s lives happier. Give them clean water and food. Now, let’s go to ‘Strictly Come Dancing – Under Water’ where our celebrities will be dancing under 1.2 Million Litres of water. You’ve just lost my 10!

My girlfriend told me that I used irony to much. So I stabbed her in the face. Ironically, I now realise I could have thought of a much more ironic death for her…