Category: irony

Had a flash pop-up on the internet which said “suicide bombers wanted!” gosh, I was blown away decided to take a look and had pictures of suicide jumpers, I thought.. I’m not falling for this

I was in a club last night and spotted a lonely looking woman (a solid 9/10) stood at the bar. Being the gentleman that I am, I swaggered over to the woman and said with a husky voice “Do you know how much polar bears weigh, love?” With a giggle the woman looked back at […]

I don’t know if you have seen it or not but there is an advert trying to inform us that fake medicine off the internet can harm us, and in the advert we see a guy pulling a dead mouse out his mouth and a voiceover saying: “Rat Poison. One of the potential substances that […]

My girlfriend didn’t understand what irony was, the triangular burn mark across her face will teach her.

Does anybody else find it ironic that the black version of the regular photograph is called the negative?

Don’t you hate it when people ask questions and don’t expect an answer?

To all those pretentious douchbags who use foreign words to make themselves look intelligent and well travelled – stop it. Capiche?

I think the most ironic thing about irony is that it’s not made of metal at all.

As a law-abiding taxpayer, it makes my blood boil to read in the paper about the cushy lives prisoners in this country have. Playstations, pool tables, aromatherapy sessions… I’d kill to have those kind of things.

“I can’t believe my wife says I’m vain and like the sound of my own voice” I said to the mirror.

BT have recently cut my phone off due to numerous unpaid bills. They say unless I get in touch and pay up, they’ll take me to court. Unfortunately, thus far I’ve been unable to contact them as they’ve cut my phone off.

The Pope’s visit to the UK is costing taxpayers a total of 12million. That is what happens when you let pensioners book holiday’s through Saga.

Irony – Phobophobia – fear of having a phobia

I used to be an arrogant, self-important know it all, so I went to a hypnotist to see if he could help me. Now I’m perfect.

A man walks into a camouflage shop.