Category: irony

I told my kid “Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.” He replied “Yeah, dad. You’ve told me before.”

Is it just a coincidence that Barney is a grown man in a costume, his best friend is called BJ and he hangs out with children all day?

I’m not posh – I’m just jolly good at Polo

Ironik got stabbed last night. A black rapper getting stabbed? He’s certainly living up to his name.

I just got my head kicked in after having an argument about irony with the fearsomely named “Outlaws” biker gang. Within minutes they fled the scene on their fully taxed and insured motorcycles whilst ensuring they were wearing their crash helmets as instructed to do so under the Road Safety Act 1973.

One morning, Harry wakes up and goes downstairs into the kitchen. It’s his birthday. It’s the third day of the third month and Harry is thirty three years old. He notices that the kitchen clock has broken and stopped at 3:30am. On the radio, the weather announces that the temperature is 33 degrees. Opening the […]

The definition of irony Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – Fear of long words.

I saw a sign on my way into a pub last night: “NO CAPS”. Somewhat of a contradiction…

Anyone else find it ironic how professional boxers need security guards walk them to the ring?

The definition of irony: Choking on a lozenge.

I was on a pub-crawl round town last night and I saw a young man wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the slogan: “I fear no beer”. So I bottled him.

The definition of irony: The one night you don’t check under the bed for the bogeyman, he gets you while your parents are out eating tapas. Hey, I resent being called the boogeyman

I hate these muppets that copy jokes & never think for themselves but still want the credit for it. 6 minutes ago via status shuffle.

My son asked me, “what’s an example of poetic justice?” I told him, its like when a woman falls down the stairs, at a battered woman’s shelter.

A senior Afghan peace negotiator has been shot dead in Kabul, officials say. It was either that, or sack him for gross incompetence.