Category: homeless

I love it when you’re just strolling down the high-street, and someone offers you a freebie. Like earlier, there was this funny looking geezer waving a hat full of 10p’s at me, very nice of him.

Walking through town today and my girlfriend said she felt sorry for all the homeless people. I thought “Get a grip. Look how much money they save on house insurance”

Overhead power Cables Putting the amps into tramps.

I wonder how long it will be until Tramps accept Chip n Pin.

Why did the tramp cross the road? To get to the other Cider.

I volunteered to do a stint in a soup kitchen. At closing time, they get quite resentful when you say, “Come on, some of us have got homes to go to.”

I got stopped by a homeless guy today. “Can you spare me something for a cup of tea?” he asked. I gave him half my Twix.

Walking down the street this morning, I came across 2 homeless guys kissing. Disgusted, I told them to ‘Get a room’. The expression on their faces were priceless!

I find it quite difficult to feel sorry for the homeless in this type of weather. I mean, its not like I can even see them buried under the 16 inches of snow anyway.

As I was walking through central London in the early hours of this morning, I kept seeing people sleeping in shop doorways and alleys. I thought they would’ve been grateful when I woke them up to tell them that they had missed the royal wedding and it was time to go home, but if anything […]

Some smelly homeless loser stopped me in the street yesterday and asked ” ‘ave you got ten pence for a cup of tea guv?” so I said ” yes here’s twenty, get me one”

I’ve just seen a guy lying on a bit of cardboard in a subway, playing a harmonica to earn some money. It’s nice to see not every one’s out of work because of the recession.

I spent a week working in the Salvation Army laundry. I now know what they mean by ‘skid row’.

You know when you’ve got a bad hangover when the ‘Big Issue’ bloke gives you a quid………..

A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a tooth-pick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp goes off. A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who […]