Category: homeless

While walking through town a tramp asked “Any spare change mate?” I replied “Yes, I’ve got over 170 in a bottle at home”.

I helped a homeless guy move house today. I kicked his cardboard box out of my shop doorway.

I was at a Calvin Harris gig the other day and the announcer said “please, give a big london welcome to Calvin Harris!”, So i stuck my hand out and asked for spare change

As my 5 year-old son and I carved the pumpkin today, I swear I heard him say, “That’s what happens to snitches.”

What is the best thing about dating a “homeless” woman? You can drop her off anywhere.

So I was talking to this homeless guy on MSN and I thought “Wait a minute…”

I find my girlfriend is becoming increasingly dirty in bed. Mind you, she is homeless after all.

My parents were so proud of me when I told them I got a job working for a well known magazine in the sales department. It just sounds so much better than ‘Big Issue seller’

“Homeless people” lighten your load by not owning a dog!!

My 5 year old came back from school today with a picture he had drawn of our family. He obviously knows about our financial problems because we’re all standing outside of our house.

I’ve got one more Big Issue to sell then I can go home. Oh wait….

I’ve just seen a dead tramp floating down a river. He was a lonely drifter.

There’s that old cliche of a Dad not having much faith in his son, but my Dad always inspired and encouraged me. Like the time when he said to me ‘Son, I want you to go far.’ He then handed me a train ticket to London, handed me my already-packed bags, and shut the door […]

I was in London the other day and this tramp came up to me and said, “Mister, I haven’t tasted food in a week.” I said, “Don’t worry, it still tastes the same.”

Top Tip- Big Issue publishers, help the homeless by giving them something to sell that people might actually want to buy.