Category: holidays

“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face, it wont help at all but at least we wont hear you screaming”

as a result of ressesion i’m worried about santa being mugged, so i left 7 land mines on the roof for him, might as well get in there first ay!

BBC: Hotel made of rubbish opens in Madrid Looks like travelodge are expanding.

On a recent holiday to Egypt, I was stopped and offered 150 camels in exchange for my wife. I told him ‘No thanks’ and away we walked. ‘You must really love me.’ My wife said while we walked. I think that’s what she said anyway, I was still shuddering at the cost of shipping home […]

When we get back from being abroad on holiday. My wife always reminds me of a christmas decoration. Round, red, shiny and covered in cheap gold.

Why oh why do people run out of the sea when it starts to rain?

I’m extremely proud of my wife after successfully swimming the Channel. I was with her all the way, shouting my support from the boat through a megaphone. I’m just sorry I couldn’t afford a second ferry ticket.

During a recent trip to Glasgow, I laid eyes on the most beautiful sight I ever saw in my life. It was a sign that said “You are now leaving Glasgow.”

I’m not doing Christmas this year, I’m doing her sister Amelia…

BBC News: UK Families Travel Hundreds Of Miles A Year With Day Trips For Kids Say what you like about Josef Fritzl. At least he had a low carbon footprint.

the look on my sisters face when she opens her hair clippers and oxygen canister tomorrow will be interesting. but when i explain its the foundation of a free trip to disneyland she wont be as disappointed.

I hate all confectionery… bar humbug.

Booked myself a holiday in Spain today. Should’ve just used a travel agent in England, took me ages to get here.

Does anyone else find it disturbing that Americans spend the most money on new things the day after they say they’re grateful for what they already have?

The hotel I was staying at last night screwed up my booking so they had to put me in the honeymoon suite. It was excellent. I was staying with a lovely young couple from Devon.