Category: health

You know you have a drug problem when you use the talk to frank booklet as a catalogue.

I have a friend who is always being taunted because he is fat. I asked him how he doesn’t get upset by all the nasty remarks, and he said he takes it on the chin. I wonder which chin he takes it on?

I was shocked to realise I had lost two stones when I was at weight watchers the other day I bought four at the offy – a couple must have fell out the carrier on the way

Owen Hargreaves signing a ‘pay as you play’ contract makes you think he’d be better off just signing on.

Jogging: it won’t help your face, luv

I love those new Dyson hand dryers. From now on I’m definitely gonna start washing my hands when I’ve been to the toilet.

Ever since I started using Garnier Fructis fortifying shampoo I’ve been intimidated by my hair because it’s healthier & stronger than I am.

What do you get if you drop a bag of Maltesers at a Weight Watchers meeting? A real life game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Self-harm jokes aren’t funny. But if you do happen to make one, don’t beat yourself up over it…

Just been entered into the health lottery,Or trying to get into a doctors practice as it is known round here.

My wife has just done a 2 year stretch. She takes her exercise far too seriously.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

My new girlfriend is exercise crazy, it’s getting to a point where I’m losing a lot of weight from this. But I’m really begininng to hate it, I’m just not that into exercise. Well at least from a brighter perspective, I’ve killed two stones with one bird.

What religion do fat people follow? Must-slim

So I was talking to one of those health gurus the other day and he said to me, “Well, you eat too much, drink too much and sleep too much. To lose some weight you need to do more exercise.” “Don’t be an idiot,” I replied. “If I do more exercise then I’ll be more […]