Category: health

I eat an apple every day. The wife’s a doctor.

What is food waste called in America? Salad.

I Lost my Donor card yesterday and they got one of my kidneys before I could cancel it.

I like to monitor and record my progress down the local gym. I did great this morning – I almost reached the door!

i recently got fired from my job as a doctor, apparently when asked what exactly is a cesarean, replying “have you ever seen the film alien” is not the response there looking for…

Just heard that there is going to be “training for Mars” thats one way to get obese people to exercise.

I’m on a health drive. I was going to walk but I’m too fat and lazy.

I don’t understand why so many people want to go to the gym to get “big” Surely McDonald’s is the better place to go

I go to the gym Because deep down we all know when the aliens come their going to eat the fatties first.

I’ve found it a lot easier to pick up women since I’ve been going to the gym. Sometimes I even challenge myself with a fat one.

I was leaving a bar the other day, when a fat bird walked through the door before me, being reasonble I let her through. She gave me the eye and said “Awww thankyou, what a gentleman”. I then replied “I only done it because we both wouldn’t have fit through the door at the same […]

Being very health and safety conscious, I put rock salt all over a huge Ice patch in my local area. I prevented a lot of people slipping over but, on the down side, I’m now banned from the Ice rink.

What’s the definition of risk? All londoners are fat, lazy overweight virgins who spend the whole day on their computers, wasting away their lives minute by minute. They need a life and a girlfriend! Joke by Afielding, 23 St Margarets Road, Twickenham, London, England

When you bust open a packet of soothers suddenly everyone has a bad throat

Recent research suggests that a three minute burst of intense activity once a week could give noticeable benefits in fitness and weight loss. That’s all very well but some of us are married.