Category: health

To all those who have sponsored me to run the Great North Run to raise money for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness. I’ve decided not to run; I’m a bit tired and can’t really be bothered.

I tried reading the sun the other day, cost me a fortune in laser eye surgery afterwards

“I guess I’m going to have to get my hands dirty.” I chuckled. Anyway, that was my last day as a Gynecologist.

Me and my wife just had a blazing row ’cause she says I’m just a fat slob I don’t know what she’s talking about, I do 100 sit-ups every morning, trying to get out of bed

I saw a woman at the gym who was looking a bit bewildered. I walked over and said “Hi, you must be new”. She laughed and said “Is it so obvious?” “Yes” I replied “You’re seriously out of shape”.

An obese guy was asked “why are you so fat?” He replied “because ((-1)/64)”.

I try to be healthy, so every day I walk 2 miles. although, it’s a bit of a pain at the end of the week, as I’m 14 miles away from home.

Weight Watchers should use Club Penguins slogan… ‘Waddle around, and make new friends’

Baa baa alopecian sheep, have you any wool? No, Sir.

Its not nice to make fun of people in wheelchairs, my dad’s got a wheelchair… He nicked it off a crippled child

Obesity in America is escalating… It’s too lazy to take the stairs.

Good health is just the slowest way to die.

I just saw an advert for Lanacane to stop chafing. Alternatively, fat people could buy clothes that fit.

Why is it that everybody that wants me to sponsor them to do the Run for Life looks like running for a bus would kill them?

I want to use my new Health & Fitness DVD but I can’t. I’ve lost the remote.