Category: food and drink

How do you make profiteroles shiny? With choux polish.

My friend snorts 10 lines of liquorish each day. He has allsorts of problems.

Do ya know what I don’t understand. Why dont they use the glue from post it notes for sticking the lids down on ready meals so that you can actually get into them. Then they could use the glue from the ready meals packaging for something useful, such as adhesive bonding for repairing cracks in […]

Many people are worrying about the effects of genetically modified crops. “There is no proof of any adverse affects”, said one Carrot.

I love Toblerone. Can’t wait for Kraft to launch Toblertwo.

.. thinks life was much more simpler when Apple and Blackberry were just Mr. Kiplings pie fillings.

Dad doesn’t earn enough money That’s why mum goes to Iceland

At a family Barbecue, I ended up falling out with everyone because not one of them even gave my girlfriend a chance they just stared at her black skin, I had to eat most of her myself. Racists.

Why are blondes like cornflakes? Because they’re simple, easy, and they taste good.

McDonald’s: Giving abusive husbands somewhere to meet their children since 1955.

I love to get the brushes out and watch my five-year-old do some painting but if she keeps falling off the ladder she’ll never finish that window.

I got kicked out of my son’s school summer fayer today for having an inappropriate name for my pancake stall. Apparently, ‘Toss Off’ wasn’t appropriate.

Whilst cooking I got some herbs in my eye..I am now parsley sighted.

My wife gave me a wicker basket full of cold meats, sandwiches, fruit cake and crockery and told me to take it to the car. I couldn’t do it, I was hampered.

Delia Smith once said there is nothing worse than a soggy souffl. As a diabetic throat cancer patient I wouldn’t know, but it certainly sounds awful.