Category: food and drink

“Only 2 people in the world know the original Coca Cola recipe” I’m guessing one of those people works for Pepsi?

I don’t love or hate Marmite, i’m impartial towards it. Take that society!

I thought I’ll be a good Christian this Good Friday and so I ate fish instead of meat for dinner. Imagine my disappointment when I found out that dolphins are mammals.

I walked into my local chip shop and said, “Just a cod please mate.” “Wrapped?” he asked. I said, “No, battered.”

A few days ago, I purchased several dozen cans of Red Bull and drank at least 20, in hope of being able to fly as the commercials show. But I didn’t fly, I had a heart attack and ended up in the hospital. The commercials clearly states, “Red Bull gives you wings”.

The waitress asked me to say ‘When’ then begins to put freshly grated cheese onto my salad. I never say when. Room fills with Parmesan. No one survives.

My wife said it would be nice to have a candle at dinner tonight. I opted for steak.

Hangover severity is directly proportional to the number of music videos posted on Facebook.

Quorn, only any good in scrabble.

Was getting annoyed earlier, every sweet I ate made a little whimpering, moaning sound. Last time I buy Whinegums.

I just finished my degree in Aerodynamics Those chocolate bars take far more effort to make than people think.

All that money Stella must make selling beer, you would think that they could afford a dictionary to check the spelling of cider

My wife found a lump in her breast earlier. According to the KFC helpline it was probably just a breadcrumb.

I’ve spent the past 5 years making a car out of uncooked spaghetti. Yesterday I took it out for a spin and crashed into a lorry full of warm water. Luckily the back of it is fine, but the front is al dente.

My girlfriend accused me of living in the past the other day. I almost dropped my can of Virgin Cola.