Category: food and drink

NEWS FLASH: Unofficial reports that Pop is dead! The world’s thoughts are with Snap and Crackle at this tough time.

My grandfather can cook a smashing curry, mind you he see’s himself as an authority on curry due to where he was stationed in the war. Bradford.

I can’t stand drunk people. They just fall over again.

Me and my mate arrive at the pub and order a couple of drinks. I pulled out a lovely Chicken Mayo sandwich and my mate had Ham & Mustard. Seeing us eat these in his pub, the angry publican approaches us and says, ‘Excuse me, but you cant eat your own sandwiches in here!’ Which […]

I don’t see why most people don’t like glory holes .Walls make great sausages

I tied all of my spaghetti together whilst I was drunk last night. Ended up skipping dinner.

I took a girl to a bar on our first date last night. I asked her what she wanted to drink. She said, “Champagne, I guess.” “Guess again!” I said.

My wife said she was getting tired of doing the same thing everyday and asked if we could try new things. So i bought her a toasted sandwich maker.

Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant curry, when I woke up my Pilau was missing.

McDonald’s have brought out a new drug-filled burger. It’s called the McJagger.

So my wife sent me to go get “organic” vegetables from the supermarket. So I go up to one of the kids in the veggie section and I say: “Do you know if any of these have pesticides on them?” “Pesticides?” he asked. “You know, poison that they spray on the plants. I need some […]

I went to a Chinese restaurant the other night but I was afraid that my dog wouldn’t be allowed to come in. Turned out I was wrong: the minute they saw the dog they became so friendly; they even said they had a special place for him in the kitchen.

I was baking a cake and having trouble with the mixing. “Put some welly into it”, my girlfriend said So I did. Unfortunately they just made the cake rubbery.

Pizza Hut : Kids eat free Great! I’m a single parent with 10 children and living on benefits.

I think the most peaceful Christmas I can remember was when my mother accidently covered the cake in Temazepam